Saturday, March 11, 2006

Feeling disconnected.

The week is still rushing by.  I think the kids not being in school has made the effect a lot stronger.  Most of the normal structure and routine that divides up our days is eliminated without the morning routine to get Matthew out to the bus and Kaylee off to school, pick her up, meet Matthew’s bus, do homework.  We didn’t really do much of anything this week.  Mostly just hung out in the house and played games or read stories together, or the kids did their own thing while I worked on the computer or slowly chipped away at the never-ending housework, and I can’t believe the week is gone already.

I took a day and slammed together a major update of my personal website, uploading just about all the layouts from my 2005 pics that hadn’t made it up there yet. The last time I’d updated it I think was in October, and even then I’d only gotten partway through May, so there was a lot to do. I haven’t scrapped Christmas yet, so since I put the pages up chronologically, but don’t always scrap chronologically because of CT stuff, I’ve got a few more waiting in the wings.  I did upload the rest of my layouts with older photos that I did last year too.

Tonight I finally took the time again to try to catch up on blog reading, and it really depressed me.  A friend got some upsetting news earlier this week, and now the moment has passed where I felt I should offer comfort and support, even though I know I will tomorrow.  Another was frustrated over her commercial design experience, expressing some of the thoughts that are exactly why I have intentionally stayed away from designing commercially, but something happened recently that had made me reconsider, and I was excited about it, but now I don’t know anymore.  Another was expressing dissatisfaction with a part of her life that happens to be a part we share, and that made me even sadder.  And throughout all of them, I felt as if it had been months, rather than a couple of weeks since I had commented on their blogs and just let them know I care.  

In a really truly pathetic and feeble attempt to cheer myself up, I went and switched my desktop wallpaper from this to this, which was a little too much on my big monitor, and then to this.  It was only after I had settled on that one, that I noticed the photographer’s description was “It is the coming of summer, the age of the daisy, the fresh start and the optimism.”  Very appropriate.

So, I am vowing that I will find time to keep up and let those around me know that I’m thinking about them.  But I think I need some sleep first.  And if you’re reading this and it doesn’t make any sense at all, I’m going to point you at the time of the post as I crawl off to bed.  

2 comments:

karin said...

ah, Kim ... first and fortemost ((((hugs)))) you sound uncharacteristically sad, blue, frustrated, and bummed out. I am certain that a little sleep, some sunshine, and the reconnection to the friends you miss will cheer you! I know that when I get busy like that I feel the same way, and all the above helps me ... so, ((((hugs))) and all the very best !

Tania said...

Ah Kim, I know you care! And I'm still in a bad mood, which is why I'm not posting, sorry for having to subject all of you to my crankiness!